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October 30, 2003

Safe For Republicans Ages 8 and Up

Awhile back, some friends played a practical joke on a co-worker who was, apparently, a huge republican and, thus, a George Dubya Fan. You see, they stole his talking W doll and pretended to hold it ransom. They took a digital picture of this George Bush doll posed as if being held by captives. But before they delivered this ransom note, I doctored it up a bit. This was the end result.

October 29, 2003

My Hands

While on a 4-hour flight.

October 29, 2003

Illustrated Catalog of Acme Products

This is awesome! My favorite has got to be the Female Road Runner Costume.

October 27, 2003

Master of My Domain

I have purchased and routed http://www.agonotheta.com to this blog. So if you have bookmarked this site, please delete it and "re-bookmark" it. This can be easily done by holding down the Ctrl key and pressing the letter D. Thanks for visiting. By the way, this is my 20th post! I told you I could do it mom!

October 27, 2003

Note To Self #481

When cleaning out your ears with a Q-Tip, please use extreme caution. Put down the book you're reading and pay attention to the task at hand. Sure this time really hurt, but next time you might not be so lucky. Next time, when you're rubbing your injured ear drum, you might be wiping away actual blood. And next time, you may hurt yourself so bad that you'll spend longer than 20 minutes rolling around on the ground in agony. Next time, maybe you'll actually puncture your brain, and then you won't be able to read ever again. Just a thought.

October 25, 2003

Mini-skirts

My sister says I need to get some action.

Last night we went with some friends of ours went to see The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. While waiting at the movie theatre for our friends to show up, we sat on a bench and people watched. I noticed, and subsequently, pointed out every mini-skirt with the enthusiasm of a 5 year-old on Christmas morning. My excitement though, was not at the sight of a mini-skirt. But at the amount of mini-skirts that we saw. They were everywhere. I probably saw in the course of one evening at least a dozen. This seemed like a lot to me. Did mini-skirts recently become cool again? Or were they ever not cool? I don't know. Have I just been ignorantly walking this earth not noticing all the mini-skirts that every other man takes such delight in? I don't know. All I know is, my eyes have been opened. I feel like Neo taking the blue pill. Or is it the red pill? I can't remember and it doesn't matter.

My sisters says I need to get some action because my "flesh radar", as I like to call it, is on high alert. No you perverts, my radar isn't made of flesh! My radar finds flesh. Highly proficiently, might I add. I was spotting girls in mini-skirts all the way across the street in the dark.

Anyway, if any of you out there want to hook me up, let me know.

October 24, 2003

What Was I Thinking?

Or was I?
Was it your sparkling personality?
Your engaging conversation?
Your non-existent sense of humor?
Your resilient dedication to mock my failures?
Your unparalleled self-righteous attitude?

I know it wasn't your beauty.
It could have been your smile . . .
or your eyes.
I know it was your ideals.
Or at least one of them.
The rest of them scratched at me like the obscene scream of my neighbors' wife which keeps me awake on an endlessly humid summer night.

Sorry.
I'm not bitter.
Just thinking.

October 23, 2003

Fuming with Geekiness

My temper has been tested as of late. I know, I know. "Neil you're getting upset about your computer! How big a geek are you?" Well, let me tell you.

Usually waking up late in the morning, the first thing I do is check my always-on, internet-connected, self-built computer for any emails that I received during my slumber, both work-related and personal. After the email has been read, responded to, and what not, I sync up my 30 Gig iPod, disconnect it from its dock and begin getting dressed. While I am very proud of my couture, I do not customarily lay out my clothes, take polaroids (as Carson from Queer Eye advises), or even spend 2 seconds picking out my ensemble for the day. I'm in the car blazing down the street to be on time.

Once I arrive at work, I get my coffee that I didn't have time to make at home, let alone drink, and sit down at my double-monitor, Wacom Intuos2 9"x12" Tablet enabled 2.4 Ghz Dell to begin a hard-working day of web design. I typically have my email application always running, along with three different web-browsers (my favorite of which has several tabs with different web pages in each), Adobe Photoshop, and Macromedia Dreamweaver MX 2004, and Windows Explorer. This totals seven open running applications on my desktop at any one time during the day.

Once I leave work and arrive home, I typically get something to drink, plop myself down in front of my computer once again catching up on blogs that I didn't have a chance to get to during the day, which could include my own. After doing something hopefully fun at night, I usually check email one more time before plugging in my iPod to recharge its drained 8-hour battery.

Yes, I am a geek. In fact, here it is almost 11:30 in the evening and I'm glued to my PC writing about my geekitude, if that word even exists.

At long last, why am I fuming? Well, I wouldn't be posting at this hour had my "self-built" computer not frozen up when I got home and decided not to restart. To make a long story short and skip the boring extremely geeky explanation, it has a problem.

So, what am I going to do about it? Will I replace the part? Hell no. I've had it with PC's. I'll use one at work because I have to. But at home, I don't. I sound like one of those Apple tv ads don't I? Well, its true. I should be one.

I'm going to buy, as soon as I can, a 15" Powerbook G4 from Apple!

October 22, 2003

Bratwurst & Sauerkraut

This is my third post in a row that has food in the title. I wonder if this is a sign of some sort . . .

The third Wednesday of every month, we have a departmental luncheon at work. Somebody is assigned every month to plan, cook, order, etc.

October was my month.

So, drawing on my lack of time and limited cooking skills, I decided to do Oktoberfest. Last night I marinated 15 brats in beer, bought authentic sauerkraut, German chocolate cake, and Henry Weinhard's Root Beer.

The food was good and everyone seemed to enjoy themselves. I'd have to give myself a pat on the back for this one. I have plenty of ideas for next year though.

Let me just say: over-night delivery of fresh strudel from the Strudel King, a 3-piece polka band, and one very bow-legged, lederhosen-wearing web designer.

Ah Scheisse!

October 20, 2003

Oysters and Courage

After working a ten hour day, I met a couple of coworkers at a local oyster bar. Oysters are 49¢ there on Monday nights, and they're awesome. So I had a couple dozen and a few beers. The two friends I went with were both hispanic. One was born in Mexico, the other in Puerto Rico. Both of them are gorgeous, attractive women, so its sort of weird being there with them as only friends. There is a constant stream of men in queue waiting their turn to be shot down. Some men just stare all night conjuring up the courage to "make their move". Its rather amusing. When I go with girls into some social situation, it reminds me of just how stupid and primal men are. We are motivated almost entirely by sex. Its pretty embarassing. Of course, that's easy for me to say when I'm sitting there with two beautiful women. I just hope I don't look that stupid when I stare at a beautiful woman on the other side of a restaurant.

This is what it looked like from where I sat.

October 18, 2003

Links, Fajitas and Bonfire

Yesterday I went in to the office at about 10 AM, worked on a couple of things, but due to some "network upgrades" couldn't do too much work. Plus, its UEA weekend. Which means that all the schools are closed, and principals and teachers are on vacation. So, after lunch, I worked for an hour, which actually consisted of talking with some of the ladies in other departments. Its pretty funny, but just about every female I work with wants to hook me up with her sister, friend, cousin, etc.

So all in all, I worked about 3 hours yesterday. Which was nice to have a day off. So I met up with John and Nate and played 9 holes of golf. Considering I only played a few times this year, I was pretty happy with my performance. I even had a couple of pars, one of which required a great save out of a sand trap. I landed it within 5 feet of the cup and nailed the putt for the par. It was great.

October 17, 2003

1 Out of 2 Ain't Bad

Well, here's my analysis of last night: Grady Little left Pedro in too long. I'm no manager or anything. But, when New York almost started a 2 out rally in the bottom of the seventh, I thought to myself, "Yank him." I knew, from my many years of playing ball and watching the National League, that he was done by this point. But Little left him in, narrowly escaping the rallying Yanks.

On comes the eighth, and Pedro got shallacked from the very beginning and by the time Little pulled him, it was a tie. Too bad for the Sox, this time, the manager cursed them, not the Babe.

UPDATE!
I just jumped over to ESPN.com and saw that this is the exact thing that the analysts there are saying. Maybe I missed my calling. Damn, I should have been a baseball manager.

October 16, 2003

Hell Has Frozen Over in Boston and Cali

"Hell Froze Over." This was the headline today on the apple website after Steve Jobs released iTunes for Windows. Touted as the "best Windows App ever" it will replace MusicMatch as the default jukebox application for my iPod.

Also, the Boston Red Sox and the New York Yankees will meet head-to-head in Game 7 of the ALCS tonight. Publicized as the "Game of the Century" this could be the chance for the BoSox to shed the Curse of the Bambino.

Since the Cubbies lost last night, this is the last chance for those of us looking for gradification through one of the "Cursed" teams.

No Doubt, Bill Gates is pissed. My hope is the Bambino will join him after the game tonight.

October 15, 2003

Stupidity

I may write about this subject so often it may require its own category.

I believe 60% of all people are stupid. I don't mean in comparison to myself. I'm saying in general. I would say that at least 70% of the people you see and interact with everyday have a less than adequate intelligence.

I work for a school district and I think that this number jumps to at least 80% for teachers. This means that 80% of your children are being taught by stupid people. In theory, wouldn't this mean that your children are going to be stupid, if they aren't already? I think, then, factoring the naturally stupid ones in with the ones who have been taught by stupid teachers, this figure has got to raise to 90%.

What's going to happen to the next generation? These figures will undoubtedly rise because our intelligent and our stupid teachers will have retired and have been replaced by more stupid teachers. Our children's children are doomed.

Furthermore, I was taught in the public school system, what if I'm stupid? In fact, maybe these figures are wrong. If I'm stupid, then 60-80% is in actuality, much too low because the baseline for these figures are based upon an idiot.

There's a couple of possibilities here. First, if you believe what I'm saying and I'm an idiot, then you must be an idiot. Second, if you believe this and I'm not an idiot, there's still a possibility that you're an idiot. Finally, if you don't believe this, then you are definitely an idiot and you're in denile.

At this point, I think I've made myself more stupid and I don't think I can write anymore. If I just ruined your day, I'm sorry. If you're stupid, I'm sorry, as well. I just feel that its time somebody did their part and spoke up.

October 14, 2003

New Matrix DVD

I went on my extended lunch break to buy Matrix Reloaded. Ah Yeah! I even watched a few minutes while I ate. I'm so excited for Revolutions on November 5th. I also bought a new Network Card for my home computer. I do web design both professionally and freelance and it gets really frustrating not being able to connect to the high-speed internet that I pay so much for. Hopefully, this new card will fix my old problems.

Also, Dashboard Confessional is scheduled to be on Conan O'Brien tonight. I'm getting mixed reports, but I think Conan's wife had a baby, so who knows?

October 14, 2003

Long e

I've been doing some thinking. As part of said thinking, I've decided that I'm done dating girls whose name ends in the long e. Not versed in your Phonemics? Well, let me give you some examples of the long e.

Eagle
Easel
East
Emu

No, I haven't been dating any Emu's. Ha Ha. Very Funny. But I have dated and/or liked an Amy, a Jeni, a Jessi, an Annie, a Jamie, Janie, an Allie, a Jenny, and another Jamie.

All of them have turned out dismally. Yes, this could be considered prejudice. And no, I don't care. Maybe if there weren't so many bad seeds out there whose named has a long e in it, then maybe, I wouldn't be stereotyping you all. Yes, I know I have a long e in my name. But I haven't heard any reports of any bad Neil's out there wreaking havoc. If any of you scorned long e women out there know any long e men who need a stern talking-to. Let me know. I'll give them a piece of my mind.

October 13, 2003

Boston Brouhaha

I'd like to make a comment on the situation that occured during Game 3 of the Boston Red Sox/New York Yankees game.

I'm sure that I have a much different take than most people.

If you didn't see it, I'll give you a quick breakdown. The Boston Pitcher, Pedro Martinez, threw a fastball, straight at the batters head, Karim Garcia. Fortunately, the pitch nicked the batters back harmlessly. Nevertheless, he was hit and got a free trip to first base. The next batter then hit into a double play, where on his way to second, Garcia attempted to break up the double play as every good little leaguer has been taught. However, Garcia, took it too far and tried to "take out" the Red Sox Second Baseman. Words were exchanged. Tempers flared. Tension was felt by all. Nothing happened, though, before the Yankees received their third out of the inning.

Retaliation came quickly when Clemens delivered a pitch "high-and-tight" to Red Sox Outfielder Manny Ramirez. Hysteria ensued. Said hysteria included benches clearing with each player choosing his favorite target on the opposing team. The scuffle that brought the most attention was the one between Sox Pitcher Pedro Martinez and Yankees Coach Don Zimmer. That's right, I said Coach. Zimmer was so angry over the beanball thrown by Martinez, he thought, he'd go give Martinez a knuckle-sandwich to let him know. The problem is that Zimmer is 72 years old and Martinez only 31. Martinez simply side-stepped the punch and threw Zimmer harmlessly (somewhat) to the ground.

I've tried to be as "fair and balanced" as I could in my retelling of the story. Now, its my turn to sound off. First, I'm a baseball purist. I love the history of the game. I'd love to get back to the way baseball was 70 or 80 years ago. I don't want to get too far off topic, but obviously, there are many problems with modern day baseball (commercialism, doping, corking of bats, "juiced balls", etc.). These topics couldn't be covered adequately in a book, let alone a blog.

But the "pure baseball" I've read about, involved the "brush-away pitch", the beanball, "chin music", whatever you want to call it. This was done in the old days by throwing a pitch dangerously close, if not directly at a player to send a message to the opposing player/team. This was all part of the game. This was also a different era. Pitchers (and all players for that matter) weren't babied like they are today. Most pitchers played other positions as well. They were tough. In fact so tough, that they would even bat for themselves. Imagine that! Not like today when pitchers in the American League don't have to stand in the box and face the same (chin) music that the rest of the players do. Today, if a pitch is too close to a batter, a pitcher can be removed from the game. I certainly don't want players to be hurt, thats not what I'm saying. I simply feel that athletes today are spoiled and that bothers me.

Yes, Pedro's pitch was dangerously close to Garcia's head. Yes, Garcia tried to retaliate on an innocent player by sliding dangerously close to him. Yes, Clemens threw his pitch close, albeit, not as close as Martinez, to a player on the opposing team. Guess what? Its all part of the game. At least it was a half a century ago. And I believe it should be today.

Which brings us to the Martinez/Zimmer rumble. A lot of sports commentators out there are saying that Martinez was in the wrong for throwing an old man to the ground. In fact, NYC Mayer Michael Bloomberg said Martinez should have been arrested for assaulting an old man. Are you kidding me? I watched the altercation live and I recall seeing Zimmer swing first at Martinez. I'm not a lawyer, but I've always understood the law to say that you can defend yourself, which is exactly what Martinez did. He certainly could have swung at Zimmer, but he didn't. He seemed to show some restraint in that respect. Furthermore, what was Zimmer doing all the way over by the Red Sox dugout? He was the one who searched out Martinez, not the other way around.

This may be a moot point, but I feel that the problem lies with the rules and state of the game. If a pitcher in the National League throws a beanball at a player, he'd better hope he gets yanked out of the game before his next at-bat because he'll get Mr. Spalding tattooed across his forehead. Not so in the American League. Will the recent fines stop the beanballs? Of course not, they've been thrown for decades. Sorry, Zimmer, being an older player, from a different generation, you should know this.

One last thing, I know I probably sound like a Sox fan, but believe me, I'm not. Nowhere near it. Just a fan of the game.

October 13, 2003

Quarter Century

What do you do if you wake up one morning and realize that every dream you've ever had growing up has come true? What do you do next? Re-evaluate things? Find fresh dreams? I have found myself dealing with these issues lately. I have worked very hard for many years to get where I am today. But here I am today assessing my situation, and feeling pretty good about it. However, there is something tingling deep telling me that I still have yet to peak. Have I been mistaken in not acquiring dreams as I go? I don't know.

One thing I do know, is that most people deal with these kinds of questions for at least one day every single year. Well, today is is my day to ask, and if not answer, have somewhat of an idea where I'm going.

I am 25 years old today.

Its sort of interesting, because I do feel different. Things feel very stable. I feel responsible. Which is weird, because I have always been very responsible. I was never much of a trouble maker. I did well in school. You know. Got good grades. Teachers liked me.

But it's a different type of responsibility. I've graduated from college and I know that my adult life has officially begun. I have a job to go to, bills to pay, a sofa, a coffee table, dishes, stuff. I'm an adult. But does that mean I have to act old? Hell no!

Accordion Guy puts forth a theory, and I quote, "in the infinite set of universes -- the multiverse -- there was one particular universe in what happened to us right here was being watched as a TV show over there. We then made a solemn vow to live in such a way that we kept our ratings up." Now, I'm not saying I believe all that about the multiverse, but I think its a great way to live.

Carpe Diem. Live for the day. I don't mean take uncalculated risks and put yourself in mortal danger to feel alive. I'm saying, live each day as if it were your last. Live as if somebody is watching every move you make. Make connections with the people around you. Your family, your friends, people you see everyday, but have never taken the time to get to know. Have fun. Play around. You don't always have to act like an "adult". Take your shoes off, get on the floor and play with children. Make friends. Lots of them. I promise it'll be worth it. Because in the end all we have is other people.

October 12, 2003

Badminton Madness

Websters: n. a court game played with light long-handled rackets and a shuttlecock volleyed over a net.

According to Agonotheta: n. a game played on grass using light, long-handled rackets with duct tape over the strings and a shuttlecock (which provides the punch line for many a joke).

Sick, I'm telling you. Absolutely sick! I went to a Badminton Party tonight. I know what you're thinking, but, seriously, try it. As adults, the game has been elevated to a whole new level, that as youngsters, we just didn't have the capability of taking it to. Guys are diving, grinding dirt and grass into the knees of their shorts and all for what? That elusive shuttlecock.

Great fun! I took my camera, but I gave it to two people to use that couldn't figure it out. So, they thought they were getting some "great action shots", but in actuality, my battery life was draining away.

I did happen to take these before it died. Enjoy!

The next tournament will be in the spring, so you all have plenty of time to hone your games to get ready to take us on. AJ brought his video camera, so hopefully, I'll add some footage in the future.

October 10, 2003

And Death Shall Have No Dominion

By Dylan Thomas

October 09, 2003

My Three Beautiful Sisters

This candid photo is one of my favorites from my sisters' wedding.
As is the custom, we (the wedding party) were waiting for everyone to get seated and they (my sisters) were peeking out to see who had already arrived.

October 09, 2003

Welcome to Agonotheta!

Wondering what Agonotheta means? It means Champion. Yes, I know what you're thinking, "I don't want to read the blog of a vain, pompous, self-absorbed geek perched behind a computer!" Well, if that were the case, I wouldn't blame you. But you needn't worry. I'm not vain. I simply took the meaning of Neil (my real name), and looked it up in a Latin Dictionary. Thus, Agonotheta is born.

Welcome. If you don't know me, I write a lot of verse (i.e. bad poetry), doodle quite often, and dabble in some digital photography. Agonotheta, will become my canvas, if you will, to display my broodings, sketches, photos and the like.

So, welcome. And remember, I'm not vain . . . much.