Agonotheta

I wonder what you'd say to see me now. I've changed. Evolved. Metamorphosed. When you knew me I was wandering in search of something. The problem is, I didn't know what. How can one find something when they don't know what they're looking for?

Apparently, I was looking for myself. Or at least what defines me. What makes me, me.

The good news is I found me. I know myself very well now. It only took a little over two years to find me.

The bad news is I had to lose you to find me. You drained me. You fed off me. Not like a sucking child to its mother. But like a virus to a host. Like a vulture to a carcass you picked at me. I don't blame you though. It was my fault I allowed you to eat away at me.

When you were through with your meal all that was left was an empty shell. An empty canvas void of anything of substance.

The strange thing is, I feel bad about the whole thing. I wish you had gotten to know the real me. I don't know if it were you who did it to me or if I did it to myself. I don't like to blame others when I should or could have responsibility. You know that about me. Or at least I'd hope you would.

Whoever was responsible, I hope you are happy. Please don't look at me in anger, I never meant to hurt you. I'm sorry if I did.

Love, Neil