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November 26, 2003
Spontaneous Expedition
So, I braved the unbelievably bad weather to come in to work today for a couple of hours to get a few things done before the long weekend. Just a few loose ends here and there that need to be tied before my drive to Las Vegas.
This trip to vegas is very spontaneous. Erik and I decided to go late monday night to see Maroon 5 in concert again.
My friend and former boss Jill expressed the lack of spontaneity that currently exists in her life.
So, I'm dedicating this post and my trip to you, Jill. I hope you are able to shed your current doldrums.
November 25, 2003
My Morning Ritual

I awoke today barely daring to edge my nose out of the warm cocoon of slumber to peer out into the cold starkness of wintry morning. For today was going to be "one of those days," where my sleep was so comforting, so captivating, so utterly nice, that I felt like a prisoner in the bed of my own making (pun thoroughly intended).
After several minutes of debating with the stubborn five-year-old in my mind, I managed to tear myself away, as a toddler would a Band-Aid on a skinned knee.
"Buuurrrrrrhhh! So . . . cold," I thought, teeth chattering. I stood frozen, perched just off my bed, as if Medusa herself had sidled her way into my room in the middle of the night and tempted me look into her poisoned eyes.
"Nope. Too cold. Back in bed," fragmenting every sentence to convince myself it would be mortally wounding to step beyond the friendly confines of my perfectly temperate comforter.
I lay there once again in pillow-topped heaven for, what seems like hours, but in reality was only a couple of minutes, before I realize that right now is the cut-off time for tardiness.
"Damn you," the five-year-old yells at the adult me, "don't make me get up."
"That bastard has the worst mouth," I think to myself as I drag him kicking and screaming out of my bed. "I've really got to do something about it."
A few minutes later, standing in my kitchen wearing only my Buzz Lightyear oversized slippers and boxer-briefs, eating my Fruity Pebbles, I realize I've got to get rid of the five-year-old inside my head. And I don't mean stop listening or talking to, or even the play-wrestling; I mean kill him. He's trying to control my life.
November 25, 2003
Short Trip
Well, its just been decided. Erik and I are heading down to Vegas to see Maroon 5 again. I'm actually, more excited, though, to go see Gavin DeGraw.
We'll be staying with an old college roommate/fraternity brother Nick. I don't think we'll end up being there for more than one evening, but it should still be fun.
I'll post pictures for sure when I get back.
November 24, 2003
Is Your Best Friend Single?
I am officially declaring myself the "You'd Be Perfect For My Friend" spokesmodel.
Why? Because I have been told the above no less than half a dozen times in the last couple of months.
This seems very interesting to me. Is this what dating is all about after college? Should I feel comforted that you feel I am good enough for your friend? Is there something wrong with your friend that deems it necessary for her "good friends" like you obviously are, to set her up with strangers?
Just wondering.
And yes, I would love to go out with her.
November 21, 2003
My Attraction to Odd Women
I find myself strangely and uncomfortably attracted to very odd women.
For instance, today, I had a meeting with a very young (23 years old) math teacher at a high school. I'm rather embarrassed to say, but I found her extremely attractive despite her obvious inadequate social skills and eccentricities.
For some reason, I really like women who don't quite fit in. I think probably because I have always felt that I don't quite fit in.
I just thought I'd write about it because I realized this about myself today.
November 19, 2003
My First WiFi Post
I'm blogging wirelessly right now from the Downtown Library. Let me tell you, this is pretty sweet! I walked in, found a spot at an open table with a view of downtown, popped out my iPod>, started up my new PowerBook G4, and it instantly detected the presence of the wireless network. Props to XMission for donating the broadband.
The only problem I see is that I may become addicted to this. No wires, the latest technology, top of the line hardware.
I'm such a geek, but at least I'm happy. So happy, in fact, that I almost think I've died and gone to Geek Heaven.
November 19, 2003
The New Lady In My Life i.e. My New Computer
I've been waiting for this day since October 31. You see, I mail-ordered my new girlfriend. And boy, oh boy, is she hot!
But today is a grand day, for my new girlfriend has arrived.
I've decided to call her my girlfriend for a couple of reasons. First, the way things have been going the last few months, I don't think I have any other prospects. Second, don't expect to see me without her. For she is my love and thus, I must take her wherever I go.
Do you remember how men and boys alike, would name their cars or their baseball bats or their guns. Well, I figure since this is the 21st century I should name my laptop.
Here's where you come in; I need help with said name. I've had some bad luck with names that have a "Long E" in them. So I know what to stay away from. I'd hate to come home one night and find my new lady in flagrante delicto with some other schmoe.
I'm open to any and all suggestions, so if you wouldn't mind. Please leave me a comment with any ideas you may have. It could be your own name, one of your favorite girlfriends' names, a funny name, any really pretty names that you'd like to name your future daughter, wives, heck, I'll even taken ex-wives (just keep it clean!).
Also, she and I are registered at Neiman-Marcus, The Sharper Image, and, of course, Target. Don't worry, no gift is too small.
November 18, 2003
So Many Distractions . . .
Tonight I'm going to buy my Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers Special Edition 5-disc gift set with polystyrene Gollum figurine! I'm excited! Can you tell?
Also, I'll be seeing Maroon 5 in concert tonight.
I bought my wifi router over the weekend.
My PowerBook will be in my hot, little hands within a few short hours.
So . . much . . going . . on.
So . . . many . . . cool . . . things.
Can't . . . con . . . . cen . . . . . traaaaaa . . . . . . . .
November 17, 2003
Old Love Letter To An Ex
Below is a letter I wrote to an ex-girlfriend. I've taken out a couple of parts to preserve her anonymity, but it remains mostly intact. She and I are huge music fans, so I came up with this idea to "write" her a letter almost entirely from quotes from songs and literature. I referenced each quote and if you hover over the quote, the name of the artist, song title, and year will pop up.
"Oh, speak again, bright angel,"1 I thought as I introduced myself to you, even though "love was the furthest thing from my mind.2 Before this feminine landscape I feel like a green branch in a fire,3 because when you smiled, the spell was cast.4
We talked for almost an hour cause you're cool like that5 and you realized that everybody knows I got more bounce to the ounce.6 But the angels come to visit us, and we only know them when they are gone.7
I promised myself if I ever got another chance, I'd still ask her8 for her number. Like you, I wondered when can I see you again? When can my heart beat again? When can I breathe once again?9 I didn't want to, but I tried to put you out of my mind. Heard melodies are sweet, but those unheard are sweeter.10
Until one day, after hope had long been abandoned and I had accepted that the best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched11 there you were laughing with your pretty mouth.12 I told myself small opportunities are often the beginning of great enterprises13 and asked for your number.
We made plans even though you live too far away,14 and I had to drive far away in the sunshine where I can look up and see your beauty.15 That night in the car, I told you that I believe this is slavery, not to speak one's thought16 and told you you're such a strange girl17 but every time I'm with you, I never wanted it to come to an end.18
I don't want to be your regret, I'd rather be your cocoon19 and that's why we must take it nice and slow20 even though you're feelin' my style and feelin' my flow.21 You said this was all you have and it's all I need. But now we only have confused hearts.22 I've made mistakes in my past but no man is rich enough to buy back his past.23 I know I'm not perfect, but you come to love not by finding the perfect person, but by seeing an imperfect person perfectly.24 Don't be afraid to be yourself, because things aren't the way they are, they're the way you are.25 Always let me know what you are thinking, as our thoughts are shadows of our feelings.26 Day by day27 I'm missing your laugh28with every thought and every breath.29 People may talk, but I don't care what they say about us anyway, I don't care bout that.30 I know it's only been a month, but I can't believe what you've done to me.31
So does he ever get the girl?32
Well, this is the end. At this point, you are probably sick with this straight gangsta mack.33 I, honestly, don't know why I tried this because, if something is too hard to do, then it's not worth doing.34 But then again, a woman is like beer. They look good, they smell good, and you'd step over your own mother just to get one!35
November 16, 2003
ClamBake Photos Finally Done
This summer I threw my First Annual Beer-B-Q & ClamBake. It included over 80 people, 40 pounds of clams, and a keg of nectar from the gods. Next year its going to be hard to top.
Check out the photo album.
November 14, 2003
Like Totally
In a heavy valley-girl accent: "Like, She is SO ditsy!"
November 14, 2003
Great News From Taiwan

I received a much welcomed email from Apple today informing me that my new PowerBook G4 is on its way direct from the factory in Taiwan.
It does strike me as rather strange that its coming directly from Taiwan to my doorstep. I, of course, would be happy to see it come from anywhere, for that matter.
November 14, 2003
"Piece of Shit Car"
My neighbor has a hideous vehicle.
I don't even know what kind of vehicle it is. I would assume its an early 80's Chevy or GM "Whale-Car."
It doesn't have any insignia on it. In fact they probably took all of it off when they were spray-painting it this horrendous color (hex. #0033CC).
I'll add a picture later for your "enjoyment."
By the way, can anybody tell me where I got the title for this post?
November 12, 2003
Christensen Web Dev Tape Hits 'Net
The internet is not so friendly to one of its own, of late.
Despite threats of legal action by his parents, links to bootleg copies of the vixen's steamy "web development" tape sprouted like fungus all over the fertile ground of the World Wide Web Tuesday.
The tape, reportedly shot three years ago, when Christensen was a barely-legal 22, is a grainy, night-vision glimpse into a session of keyboard frolicking between he and then-friend Bill Gates. The version making the rounds online is purportedly an excerpt of a much longer video.
When rumors of the tape first surfaced, Christensen denied its existence, calling Gates "a complete liar and scumbag" in New York magazine, but he was later forced to backpedal after it become obvious that the video was all too real.
The Christensen publicity machine kicked into high-gear last week in a frantic attempt to de-tarnish Neil's already besmirched rep and to strike guilt into the hearts of those who would circulate the tawdry footage.
"The Christensen family is greatly saddened at how low human beings will stoop to exploit their son, Neil, who is sweet-natured, for their own self-promotion as well as profit motives," read a statement released by the family.
However, lawyers for Gates say that he has nothing to do with the video's release, and that he is even threatening to sue the Christensens for defamation for claiming that he took advantage of a definitely-not-camera-shy Neil.
Both the Christensens and Gates are reportedly trying to stop a Seattle Internet company from hawking the full-length video of the ribard romp on its own website.
November 12, 2003
I'm CrAzY-WeBsItE-GuY
If you want to see your daughter again, make sure you read this ransom note carefully.
From CrAzY SyTeS and Jeremy Keith.
November 12, 2003
Vindictive Designers and Logos

I'm going to see a hockey game tonight. I'm not a huge hockey fan, but I love attending any sporting event. I have an inside contact at the company who designed the logo for our local team. From what I am told, the actual designer of the logo was fired immediately after finishing the design.
In a moment of vindictive wrath, he made a genital . . . i mean, gentle change to the tongue of the grizzly bear design that you see above. Look closely. Its there.
The funny thing is that nobody notices this "deformity" in the tongue of this poor bear. It cracks me up everytime I see it because people proudly display it in car windows, on jackets, t-shirts, etc. I see it everywhere.
This reminds me of another urban legend of the animator for Disney who was fired shortly before finishing his design for the poster of the Little Mermaid. Apparently, he decided to make similar alterations to some pillars on a castle. This, too, made it to print.
What do we learn from this? Graphic designers can be dangerous when fired. Before you know it, they'll be drawing genitals on everything they can get their hands on. No pun intended.
November 11, 2003
Patience Sucks
Please don't read any further unless you want to hear a spoiled brat complaining.
<rant>
I hate waiting. I ordered my Apple Powerbook on October 31. I was told when I ordered it that it wouldn't ship for 10-15 business days. That's November 21 at the latest. Yeah, yeah. I have heard of Apple underpromising and overdelivering for years.
But now when I go to the Apple website and check my order status, it says it won't ship until November 25. Aaaaaaarrrrrrrggghhhhhh!!! I HATE WAITING!!!!
The reason for my lack of patience? My home computer that I built a couple of years ago is having problems with its motherboard. Basicly, it will start sometimes, but not everytime, and especially not when I need to use it. For instance, I tried using it on Sunday night to check Ebay for a wireless router that I had been watching. Did I end up buying the router? No. I didn't. The reason? Because my computer wouldn't even start!
I'm at the end of my rope. I have several freelance jobs that I'd love to be working on, but my machine won't boot.
Come on, Steve. Get your act together!
</rant>
November 10, 2003
Strange Scarlett Searches
An interesting phenomena is happening. Over a week ago, I wrote a little thing about how much I enjoyed Scarlett Johannson's lips . . . I mean, performance in Lost In Translation. But now, I'm getting several hits a day from Google for people searching for Scarlett Johannson.
So many in fact, that I'm now the #6 result. Number SIX! Pretty funny huh? The searches aren't just coming from the US. I've gotten some from Google UK, Google Thailand, and Google Canada.
I've gone international folks!
November 10, 2003
My New Old Friend
I have a new friend. Well, its my old friend. But he's my new friend too because we have been "reunited", so to speak.
Several years ago, I went away to college. Unfortunately, this disconnected me with some of my best friends. This list included Erik whom I had known since I was seven years old. I missed him a lot. Oh, we still talked once in awhile, in fact, Erik visited me several times my freshman year. But it was never the same.
Erik and I have known each other since the second grade. We were never great friends during elementary and junior high, but became so in high school due to our mutual interest in theatre. We also carpooled everyday. If something was happening in Erik's life, I knew about it, and vice versa. He was there for me when I had a huge fight with my sister (the one where she and I didn't speak for over a year). He was there for me when I broke up with my high school and longest-to-date girlfriend, Janelle. He was there for me when my father was diagnosed with lymphoma (brain cancer).
We were best friends.
Since graduating from college and moving home I have reunited with my new old friend Erik. Today, Erik joined the ranks of those of us aged one-quarter-century. Happy birthday Erik! I hope its everything you hope for, i.e. you see boobs! I'm glad you're back in my life.
November 10, 2003
A Letter To An Ex
I wonder what you'd say to see me now. I've changed. Evolved. Metamorphosed. When you knew me I was wandering in search of something. The problem is, I didn't know what. How can one find something when they don't know what they're looking for?
Apparently, I was looking for myself. Or at least what defines me. What makes me, me.
The good news is I found me. I know myself very well now. It only took a little over two years to find me.
The bad news is I had to lose you to find me. You drained me. You fed off me. Not like a sucking child to its mother. But like a virus to a host. Like a vulture to a carcass you picked at me. I don't blame you though. It was my fault I allowed you to eat away at me.
When you were through with your meal all that was left was an empty shell. An empty canvas void of anything of substance.
The strange thing is, I feel bad about the whole thing. I wish you had gotten to know the real me. I don't know if it were you who did it to me or if I did it to myself. I don't like to blame others when I should or could have responsibility. You know that about me. Or at least I'd hope you would.
Whoever was responsible, I hope you are happy. Please don't look at me in anger, I never meant to hurt you. I'm sorry if I did.
Love, Neil
November 08, 2003
Thoughts On The Audition
The auditions went just about as well as I could have asked for. I sang my song pretty well. Even though I was nervous, I think I still sounded good. I don't think I'll make callbacks, which is ok, because I mostly wanted to audition for the experience. Next time, I'll have one more audition under my belt before going in there to offer myself up to the theatre gods.
On another note, I have had a lot of ideas for posts, but haven't gotten around to either writing them, or even writing down my ideas for that matter. So I'm finding myself having the motivation to write, but not actually getting anything written down. Its been frustrating me. Thus, I'll do my best to keep some posts going, but I may resort back to the old pen and paper to help build my "inspiration."
On yet another note, last Friday I ordered my new Apple Powerbook, that I have written about. I'm pretty excited to get it because it will come equipped with a wireless network card, so I can see myself blogging wirelessly from several different "wi-fi hot spots" including one of the many coffee shops located near my house. Also, I'll be purchasing a wireless router soon to hook my cable internet access into. So, I may also be blogging wirelessly from my couch, bed, front porch, kitchen, or even bathroom for that matter.
What a sweet day that will be!
November 06, 2003
Nausea & Nerves
Today, I didn't go to work. In fact, I dragged myself out of bed to write this. I awoke this morning to a nauseated stomache . . . and no, it wasn't because of the ending to the Matrix. I think it was the cheese fries I ate at the theatre, but I'm not sure.
So, I've been laying around my house all day and with less than 39 hours 'til my audition, my mind has been going crazy. I'm convinced that I am not ready. I have not auditioned in more than three years and despite the last 2 weeks of practice, I still feel quite ill-prepared.
Oh well, I will go in there and do my best and if I don't get in, I'll just gain experience for next time. Tonight, my sister is going to come over and take some pictures of me with my digital camera. My headshots are so old, I don't want to use them anymore.
I'll have her take some (with my guidance, of course) and tomorrow, I'll take them to work, doctor them up a bit, and print them on our best color printer. Its not like me to procrastinate this way. Its making me even more nervous.
November 05, 2003
Talking About A Revolution
I don't have much time to write, but I figured I'd jump on and let everybody know what I'm doing today and tonight.
First, I had a meeting with my dentist about building him a website. For the next year, whatever my insurance doesn't pick up will be "taken care of." That'll be nice.
Second, I have a meeting with the webmaster of a school in the district, so I wasn't in the office but for a couple of hours this morning. Again, that was nice.
Third, after my meeting, I'm heading out to see Matrix: Revolutions with a couple of friends. Not too bad a day, don't you think?
November 05, 2003
Characteristics of My Perfect Woman
Feisty, warm, spontaneous, equally at ease in the kitchen or bedroom and fond of spending lots of time in both. A sleeping surface for sex is often superfluous, due to a naughty and ardent passion, and love for novelty.
What Its Like To Date Me:
I will need your attention, not always but a lot
I will see the glass half full
I will correct your grammar
I won't make the bed, unless its a weekend
I won't always make the bed on the weekend
I will drink beer a lot
I will flirt and stare at you
I will want time away from you
I will tell you that you're beautiful
I will learn from you
I will keep you laughing
I will leave you love notes
I will write you letters and poetry
I will annoy you
I will make you want time away from me
I will definitely make you feel special.
If this is too much, you shouldn't be with me.
If the cons outweight the pros, I shouldn't be with you.
November 03, 2003
Winter Crappyland!
I just got back from lunch and snapped these pictures of downtown. Man, it has been snowing this heavy for most of the morning. This sucks!
November 03, 2003
Weekend Update
Its snowing right now. This doesn't surprise me actually, it snowed pretty heavily last week and I refused to believe it, so I didn't get any pics. But I went outside and just took this picture.
The change of the seasons tend to frustrate me at my office. For at least a couple of weeks, our temperature does the polar opposite of the weather outside. During the summer, it would be in the 80's outside and inside it would be low 60's. I thought it was just a glitch in the system, a one time thing, ya know? But, since winter is beginning now, it seems that this may happen with the change of every season. Its snowing outside and our heater hasn't stopped running. The thermostat says 78 degrees. Just sitting in your chair breaks a sweat. I'm not even the sweaty-type and its driving me crazy.
Anyway, on Friday I saw Lost in Translation, which I really enjoyed as you read earlier. I really enjoyed Bill Murray's performance. He has this very human, imperfect quality (that I mean, of course, as a complement) about himself that translates very well in a story like this. Scarlett Johannson also performed beautifully. She's not your typical movie starlet either. She definitely has some curves, which is refreshing in that most of our young stars today are bone-skinny. Not to mention, my personal preference is a girl with a little "junk in the trunk". If you know what I'm talking about!
So, I slept in Saturday and then went to a wedding of a young couple that is friends with my family. I really hate weddings, so the only way I could cope with it was through a little Smirnoff Raspberry Twist Vodka. But the wedding was nice, nonetheless, and the reception was ok, considering the inevitable face-to-face with an "ex".
Sunday evening, one of my oldest friends Erik, came over to help me practice a song for my audition coming up on Saturday. This will be my first audition in over 3 years, so I'm a little nervous. More to come on that as the audition gets closer.
November 01, 2003
Scarlett Johannson
I'm in love. No seriously. Did you look at those lips?
Her name is Scarlett Johannson and I'm in love with her. She's in the movie Lost In Translation.
Here's some more images of her to feed your dreams and mine:
Oh yeah, did I tell you I'm in love with her?


