Metrosexual Resentment

May 06, 2004

My sister says I'm a metrosexual.

This, in case you don't know, "is a straight man who styles his hair using three different products (and actually calls them "products"), loves clothes and the very act of shopping for them, and describes himself as sensitive and romantic. In other words, he is a man who seems stereotypically gay except when it comes to sexual orientation."

Now, if you've ever seen me you'd know I don't use one, let alone three different products on my hair (because my head is shaved). But, I do love clothes and shopping. And yes, I consider myself more sensitive than most guys and definitely a romantic. Also I dress, and have been told by several girls, better than most men.

While I am not ashamed of these qualities, I really resent being deemed a "metrosexual." The farther away I get from high school, the more I despise titles. In my high school, most students became known as "jocks," "nerds," "preppys," etc. I really hated titles back then and I hate them even more today. Today, it's no longer "nerd" or "preppy", but the term "boyfriend," that huants me.

Why was I declared a metrosexual the other day, for the umpteenth time, when my sister saw my new shoes? It's not fair. Just because I buy nice clothes and shoes does not make me one step away from being gay.

And what about the gay guys? I'm sure in the way I don't like being called something I'm not, do they want to be grouped with people they don't relate to? What if us "metrosexuals" are bringing them down or something? I don't want them to resent me for this.

Of course, maybe I'm looking at this completely wrong. Is the term metrosexual supposed to be a compliment? Like, maybe, we're teetering just close enough to homosexuality to have some of their stereotypical style rub off on us. Maybe we're sort of "the best of both worlds."

I don't know. You tell me?

Category: My Life | Permalink | 5 Comments
Comments

I think the term is meant as a compliment, but I've never really understood why our society has decided that we need a term like that. I think a lot of women appreciate that you make sure you look nice and that you take an interest in them. But why a term to describe that you take care of yourself has to be associated with sexual orientation is kind of strange. I promise you, I don't think of you as a metrosexual. I just look at you as.... Neil. You are who you are. (And I completely understand the uselessness of labels or titles that are placed on people. That's been a complaint of mine for years.)

Posted by: Jill at May 7, 2004 10:47 AM

Yeah, you don't even want to get me started on titles. The titles "boyfriend" and "girlfriend" seem very sophomoric to me. I may even refuse to acknowledge them in the future.

Posted by: Neil at May 7, 2004 11:18 AM

The title of girlfriend didn't bother me as much as "wife". That kind of freaked me out. It sounds so.... old. So Kevin calls me his "permanent girlfriend" and I'm more comfortable with that. The girlfriend/boyfriend titles are okay for me. If you refuse to acknowledge them, how would you refer to somebody you're dating. If you call them your "partner" then you may not be called just a metrosexual. ;-) Sometimes, titles are needed, but labels are not. Does that make sense?

Posted by: Jill at May 7, 2004 12:06 PM

Funny.

I hate girlfriend and boyfriend because they sound young and you hate wife because it sounds old.

For obvious reasons, I'll never use the term "partner" to refer to somebody I'm dating.

I don't see much difference between titles and labels? Both seem to be for outward purposes. Other people, you know? I mean, the main thing for me is that both parties are in agreement and understand where the other person stands.

I'll say this is so-and-so. Or so-and-so and I did this, not my girlfriend and I did something.

Oooh, I just got the chills.

Posted by: Neil at May 7, 2004 02:04 PM

I guess you're right that titles/labels are for other people. But sometimes it helps to know a little about another person and that's why I think titles are sometimes important. If I refer to Kevin as my "husband", that's his title. But if I say, "My husband is a jock." then I'm labeling him. I think that titles can be used respectfully, but labels are usually playing into some societal stereotypes that most people don't want to be known by.

Posted by: Jill at May 7, 2004 04:31 PM