Agonotheta

A New Level of Bachelorhood

November 15, 2004

I made a breakthrough Friday.

I am, from this point further not doing my laundry myself, until I either a) buy a house or b) get married (in which case, my wife will do the laundry HA HA Just Kidding!).

There are two duties in life I hate more than any other: grocery shopping and doing my laundry at a laundromat. But after 8 years of setting aside three hours a week to sit awkwardly in the depravity that is a laundromat, I am done.

In a laundromat, and to quote Obi-Wan, "You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy."

Once again, I am done.

I decided this after one of the best single experiences in all my life. You see, Friday, after being sick for a day and a half and not being able to do my laundry, I got out of the shower to only one pair of clean underwear. Having a full day of activities planned for Saturday, I knew I'd either have to do my laundry that Friday night or wear the underwear I had on for two days and make time to go to a laundromat on Sunday. But as I was dressing for work I realized I had a third, albeit a more scary option: I could drop off my clothes to be laundered by my dry cleaner. This made me a little nervous, because after all, I was handing over my dirty skivvies and all to a total stranger.

I decided to give this third option a try.

So before work, I stopped at my dry cleaners' and dropped off my laundry basket. The lady told me they'd be done by 2 PM.

"Cool," I said. "I'll pick them up at 5 when I get off work."

After work, I pulled up to the drive-thru window and before I had a chance to step out of my car, a different lady was right there asking me for my slip and my form of payment. I handed it to her along with my credit card. She returned seconds later with my clothes, which she loaded in the back seat of my car and a small clipboard for me to sign the receipt. I was in and out in less than 90 seconds. It was awesome.

When I got home, I ripped open the three plastic bags they used to package everything and found my extremely clean, nicely folded clothes. In addition to doing my laundry which consisted mostly of socks, underwear, and t-shirts, they pressed and hung six dress shirts ... all for the low, low price of $14!

It was an incredible experience. I now feel as though I've reached a higher level of bachelorhood. Sure, it's about twice the amount I spend doing it myself, but I will now save three hours a week. But also, I've saved about $300 that I was going to use sometime this month to pick up a used washer and dryer. I can now put that toward one of my student loans or something (i.e. my car).

Next on the agenda of freeing myself from all household duties, order my groceries through the internet and have them delivered.