Agonotheta

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November 22, 2004

Media Watch

» Rufus Wainwright "Want Two" - This came with a live performance DVD, which is cool. I like this cd so far, but he's "pretty gay" on this, his fourth album.
» Eminem - Excellent cd so far. Although one of his songs features the noises of him puking at the beginning and end and another features belching, farting, and "pooing" noises. This really annoys me. That's the last thing I want to hear.
» The Five People You Meet In Heaven by Mitch Albom - Excellent book. Quick read as are all of Albom's books. If you like Tuesday's With Morrie, you'll love this one. If you haven't read Morrie, go read it. Now.
» What Should I Do With My Life? by Po Bronson - I'm only a few pages into this, but I think its interesting. Bronson traveled around the world talking to other's about the choices they made in life and what made them successful. I decided to pick it up because he didn't interview Fortune 500 CEO's and whatnot. He interviewed regular Joe's who may have done some amazing things.
» The Incredibles - What a great movie! Go see it in the theatre.
» Star Wars Trilogy DVD - I just bought this last week and have watched Episodes IV and V. I've forgotten how much I love these movies.
» Seinfeld DVD's - I may wait for a christmas sale before picking this up.

November 22, 2004

Firsts

Over the weekend, I did a couple of cool things. One for the first time. One for the first time in awhile.

Friday night, I met up with a bunch of fellow Subaru WRX/STi enthusiasts and checked out each others' rides. I've never done this before and, man, was it fun! There was no competition, it wasn't about who had the better/faster car. It was a gathering of people who have similar interest and enthusiasm for their car. It was a meeting of the minds. Members of this club talked about modifications that they had already done to their car and what the results were. I found out about this meet, as they're called, through one of the forum websites that I frequent. I was very nervous to show up, but once I was there, I had a blast. It took place at Fashion Place Mall, at the food court parking lot. There were probably 50 WRX's and STi's there, but during the course of the evening probably a hundred or so other cars came by and taunted us to race them. Picture a really lame looking Mitsubishi Eclipse with a primered ground effects kit sitting in front of a row of highly moddified, performance-tuned non-aggressive Soobies.

One funny thing that happened was that a police officer in his squad car came by and just sat there shining his spotlight at our cars. He sat there for probably 15 minutes before driving away. Several of the people thought he was checking out the cars, but I think he was trying to either intimidate us into dispersing or seeing if there was going to be a race or something.

I met some very knowledgeable people and made a couple of contacts that can help me do some installations that I don't have the knowledge or equipment to perform. I can't wait for the next one!

The second thing, you know, the one I haven't done in awhile, was go to a theatre party. What I mean by this, is that it's a party where the majority of the attendees were involved in professional theatre in some way. My roommate, Erik, does community theatre and is pretty well connected into that circle.

We went to a party with the cast of the Beauty and The Beast at Pioneer Theatre Company. Nice people, most of them, but it reminded me of why I quit theatre. First, theatre people, by nature love the attention on them. So, they don't really listen to you much in conversation. They always tend to turn the focus to them (moreso even than regular people).

Second, out of about 25 people there, only four of them were female. I wasn't planning on hitting on any girls or anything, so this isn't a huge deal. But come on, the last thing I want to do is hang out with a bunch of effeminate heterosexuals and openly gay men. I just don't. I'm sorry. I got nothing against them. But I have no common interests with them. No common denominator. I mean, let's look at what we were both doing before getting to the party. I was riding a high after watching the Utah Utes destroy the BYU Cougars in football. They came from dance rehearsal where they were dressed as plates, forks, spoons, knives and various other cutlery.

November 18, 2004

Blade Trinity

At the movie theatre last night, the girl in her early twenties in front of me asked her friend, "Blade Trinity. Is that third or the fourth Blade movie?"

November 17, 2004

Dark Side Switch

Hilarious parody.

November 16, 2004

I Need a Sugarmomma

I need a sugarmomma.

I came to this undeniable conclusion on Saturday night somewhere in between the first of four glasses of wine and a second glass of champagne. I was in Park City attending a swanky party at a theatre for contributors and season ticket holders.

I was looking around the room and decided this because there were several very eligible widows and divorcées who are still very attractive, albeit 20 years my senior. The way I see it, I give them what they want, they give me what I want.

Let me know if your auntie is on the prowl.

Yeah, I know. I'm a freak.

November 15, 2004

A New Level of Bachelorhood

I made a breakthrough Friday.

I am, from this point further not doing my laundry myself, until I either a) buy a house or b) get married (in which case, my wife will do the laundry HA HA Just Kidding!).

There are two duties in life I hate more than any other: grocery shopping and doing my laundry at a laundromat. But after 8 years of setting aside three hours a week to sit awkwardly in the depravity that is a laundromat, I am done.

In a laundromat, and to quote Obi-Wan, "You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy."

Once again, I am done.

I decided this after one of the best single experiences in all my life. You see, Friday, after being sick for a day and a half and not being able to do my laundry, I got out of the shower to only one pair of clean underwear. Having a full day of activities planned for Saturday, I knew I'd either have to do my laundry that Friday night or wear the underwear I had on for two days and make time to go to a laundromat on Sunday. But as I was dressing for work I realized I had a third, albeit a more scary option: I could drop off my clothes to be laundered by my dry cleaner. This made me a little nervous, because after all, I was handing over my dirty skivvies and all to a total stranger.

I decided to give this third option a try.

So before work, I stopped at my dry cleaners' and dropped off my laundry basket. The lady told me they'd be done by 2 PM.

"Cool," I said. "I'll pick them up at 5 when I get off work."

After work, I pulled up to the drive-thru window and before I had a chance to step out of my car, a different lady was right there asking me for my slip and my form of payment. I handed it to her along with my credit card. She returned seconds later with my clothes, which she loaded in the back seat of my car and a small clipboard for me to sign the receipt. I was in and out in less than 90 seconds. It was awesome.

When I got home, I ripped open the three plastic bags they used to package everything and found my extremely clean, nicely folded clothes. In addition to doing my laundry which consisted mostly of socks, underwear, and t-shirts, they pressed and hung six dress shirts ... all for the low, low price of $14!

It was an incredible experience. I now feel as though I've reached a higher level of bachelorhood. Sure, it's about twice the amount I spend doing it myself, but I will now save three hours a week. But also, I've saved about $300 that I was going to use sometime this month to pick up a used washer and dryer. I can now put that toward one of my student loans or something (i.e. my car).

Next on the agenda of freeing myself from all household duties, order my groceries through the internet and have them delivered.

November 12, 2004

Quasimodo

I've had an interesting couple of days. As I worked feverishly on Wednesday morning, I realized I had been itching my right eye. This is not tremendously out of the ordinary as I get pretty bad hayfever every once in awhile. So I took an allergy pill out of my desk and walked down the hall to get a drink of water to wash it down. I get no further than out my office door, when my secretary says to me, "What happened to you?"

Confused, I stared blankly at her. My face obviously stating, "What are you talking about?"

"It looks like you've been punched in the face."

I tell her I have allergies and have been itching my eye. So I walk down the hall to the bathroom and walking in the bathroom, I see a sight I pray I never see again. My eye was bulging so large that I looked just like Quasimodo.

I was hideous. Even the white part of my eye was swelling. By shutting my eye, I could feel the "ridge" that was now existing between my iris and the "white part." I worked for a couple more hours and then took the rest of the day off because it hurt so bad to keep my eye open.

Thursday, I stayed home as well. The swelling had only slightly gone down since the day before, despite keeping ice on it for the better part of the day. After getting some stronger allergy medicine (apparently stuff more geared for allergic reactions, as opposed to generic allergy medicine) and some eye drops from the doctor, I am now at work today.

To make a long story short, it seems that I had an allergic reaction to something that I had on my hands. I then transmitted it to my eye when I itched it. The moral of the story? Wash your hands often people.

November 10, 2004

Britney Spears' Greatest Hits

What is this world coming to?

November 10, 2004

Traffic School (Reloaded)

It turns out traffic school wasn't all that bad. The first thing the instructor said when he walked in was, "How about we leave early tonight?" To which the crowd replied with uproarious applause. For the first half all he did was go around to each person in the room and find out what infraction they had infracted to deserve traffic school.

Then he showed several scenarios on one of those magnetic street boards. You know, the ones that have those little matchbox cars with magnets on them that you can put in any position. He did about 10 scenarios where we all had to write down who we thought deserved the ticket. Then he gave us the answers.

The last (and longest) part, was the question and answer section. This is probably pretty self-explanatory, so I'm not going to go into it. But I will say that this section got pretty out-of-hand. My fellow students used this opportunity to bitch about why they got their respective ticket. Also, the mandatory, "Well, I heard that in Arizona you can make a left turn from the right lane." And, "In California, motorcycles can drive between lanes in traffic. Why can't they in Utah?"

Overall it wasn't that bad. The instructor was pretty entertaining. He's a retired police officer who used to teach cops the traffic laws. He has done traffic school for Salt Lake City for thirty-someodd years and has several canned jokes that were actually pretty funny. I've been to traffic school before where it was two hours of boring instructor piled on top of the stinking refuse that is our traffic laws. But this one was just the opposite. It was the same stinking refuse, but presented with icing on top and a garnish or two on the side.

So, overall, if you have the chance to go to Salt Lake City Traffic School, go for it! I'm going to give it a ranking of three out of five Loritabs, because after all, it is still traffic school.

November 09, 2004

Traffic School

Well, tonight after work I will be attending traffic school for a speeding ticket I received about a month ago. I was on my way home from a friends house at about 2 in the morning and was figured I'd be the only one on the road. I was close. It turned out there was a cop on the road too and it turns out he was on the same road as I. Oh well. At least it won't go on my record now that I'm going to traffic school.

November 08, 2004

YeehHaw! Weekend Roundup

I saw Ray over the weekend. I don't have a whole lot to say about it, besides Jamie Foxx needs to at least be nominated, if not win, an Oscar for his dead-on performance. Great movie. I highly recommend it.

On Saturday, I saw our unbeaten Utah Utes football team tear up the Colorado State Rams 63-31. The Utes are now 9-0 and 7th in the country. This is just outside the 6-team BCS bubble that they long to be in. Now, they need one of the top 6 teams to lose in the next two or three weeks to make it to one of the top 3 bowl games. It was a blast going to the game. I've been watching them all season and lucked out by having a friend with an extra ticket.

November 08, 2004

We're Still Fighting the Civil War

Notice any similarities?

November 03, 2004

One Thing I Know

The events of the last 24 hours have reaffirmed what I already know . . . the majority of Americans are stupid.

November 02, 2004

If Bush Is Re-elected . . .

One good thing that could come of Bush getting re-elected is that we'd get to see a little more of this little lady.

November 01, 2004

Are you going to AA too?

I was trying to think of something funny that happened to me recently, because, well, I know I don't live that boring of a life, and I remembered something that happened to me a couple weeks ago.

I was driving very fast down a very busy one-way street in downtown Salt Lake trying to be on time to a basketball game I was playing in. I must have been feeling pretty wild because I darted in and out of a couple lanes trying to get ahead of the traffic. At the next light I stopped at, I noticed a car that had kept up with me. I looked over and saw a fairly attractive, older-looking (mid-30-ish) lady smiling at me. Not one to turn away from a smiling, friendly face, I returned the smile. Immediately after smiling, a deep feeling of disgust with myself welled up in my gut. I realized that I was now reduced to "one of those guys" who hits on girls from within my car. (Even if that's not exactly true, that's how I felt.) I then quickly and nervously turned my head forward.

At the next light, I looked straight ahead. You know that feeling when you know somebody is looking at you? Yeah, that was happening to me. I could feel her eyes boring into me.

The light turns green and I speed off, still trying to be on time. But alas, as is Murphy's Law, "If you are running late, every street light will turn red," I got stopped at the next light. Not being able to withstand temptation any further, I looked to my left, only to see Miss Smiley McLookatmealot doing none other than flash her pearly whites at me. This time, though, her window is down and she's motioning for me to roll down my window. Reluctantly, curiously, and nervously I roll down my window just in time for her to say, "I like how you drive!"

"Thanks," I say, somewhat confused. That's an interesting way to start a conversation, I think.

"Are you going to AA too?" she says.

"Uh, no. I'm going to play basketball."

"Oh, damn. Ok, well have a good night," she says.

"Thanks. You too," I reply.

She turned at the next light, and I realized the irony of this exchange. She assumed that because I drove, admittedly, a little wild, that I was on my way to an AA meeting. Second, it seemed as though she was a little disappointed that I wasn't. I have to assume that this is because she was, shall we say, interested in me. So I pose this question, is it "appropriate" for one to use self-help/rehab groups as a source for dating? I'd have to say, I don't think it should be. But thats just me.