Finding the Joy
September 22, 2005
The last few months have been really weird for me. I have been having a very difficult time enjoying my job. I felt that I kept getting burdened with more and more responsibilities and that I should get compensated for it. I spoke to my supervisor about it and was told that I was going to have to wait, at least for the time being, for an answer to a raise. After that, as much as I hate to say it, my performance probably dropped. I became chronically late. Even worse, I was having a hard time getting inspired.
But about a month ago all that changed. I'm not sure what triggered it, but whatever it was I'm happy about it. I was told about a new "section" for our website that was going to receive a lot of community attention and so I immersed myself completely into it. I wanted it to be something I was proud of, something that I wouldn't be ashamed to attach my name to.
I’m not sure if this is how it is everywhere in the business world, but for me so much of what I do needs to "get done yesterday," and because of the time constraints I am unable to dedicate my entire creative faculties to it. This may have been part of my frustration the last few months. I have this real need/desire to be creative, or at least feel creative, and I didn't have that. It was probably even evident on this website by my uninspired postings.
I'm voicing this now, even though it literally just came to me, but I guess I realized subconsciously, that I need to slow down, take my time, and enjoy what I'm doing. Otherwise, I'll get burnt out.
This New York trip I'm heading out on tomorrow will no doubt do just the trick. In this day and age, New York City is the creative center of the world (maybe arguably). How could I not return from a 10-day trip to the creative center of the world and not feel completely revitalized and focused, with my creative juices flowing? With that said, one of my main goals for this trip is to take time for me. Every second I'm there I'll have a camera on me. I'll have the notebook I carry with me everywhere here, that's right, the one that hardly ever gets pulled out of my bag anymore. What is written may never see the light of day, but it will no doubt serve as an outlet for all of the emotions, sights, sounds and experiences that will be flooding my mind.
When I return, I have a handful of projects to begin working on. All of them will benefit my pocketbook, but with each one I promise I will gain more than just monetarily. I will continue the trend of the last month and “find the joy” of web creation that once breathed through me.
So, until I return ...